...WHAT WAS THAT?! Do you want to make all your readers cry?! Ugh... well, i have to admit *wipes tears away* that was beautiful the way you ended it... just a little work on it grammar and spelling wise, you'll have an awesome story!

this chapter is a lot better in the mistake area, and it was an awesome chapter!! i love the curse thing.. call me evil but i love those kind of things!! and whats with the ending?? i thought he could only talk in the white world?! (i'd advise coming up with more interesting names... just for fun...)

OMG loved it! but once again, many mistakes. also, when someone different is speaking, a new paragraph is needed... and you might want to do some research on witches and magic... "white" doesn't necessarily mean good, and "black/dark" magic doesn't necessarily mean bad.

OMG girl! that was really cool, but I dont think a father would leave so quickly...
and there were a lot of mistakes... but since i have read your latest work, i would like to say you have improved a lot!! keep writing awesome girl! cuz i'll keep reading! hhaha XD love ya!