 SpaceCadet87 2007-11-19 . chapter 4I love this myth.
But if I may add some constructive criticism, your writing is very distant. Like when you describe the room, it is very "this is this" and "that is that". I don't want to know there is a shag carpet, I wanted to feel it. The really nitty gritty stuff. I'm not suggesting this for everything though, because it might go on forever, but everyonce in a while, it adds character, gives them feeling. Do you know what I mean?
But so far, so good. |