The idea's not bad, but you might work on the rhythm a bit. Rhyme is a distraction unless it's well blended with meter.

Beautiful.
I like it all but I love this part...The straight and narrow path
is a difficult one to walk;
it requires a great deal of effort
and is more than just talk.
Awesome work. Write on and God Bless you.

not a fan of the rhyme scheme, in order for that to work for me the rhymes have to either be placed internally - or not be obvious. the poem is nice though and stands as testimony to your beliefs so thumbs up for that.

as an aside though, i always wondered why life has to be a race, why it can't it be a walk, lol.