FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Betsy Anne 2007-12-04 ch 1,  | abuseThe idea's not bad, but you might work on the rhythm a bit. Rhyme is a distraction unless it's well blended with meter. |
| Needa S 2007-11-05 ch 1, | abuseBeautiful. I like it all but I love this part...The straight and narrow path is a difficult one to walk; it requires a great deal of effort and is more than just talk. Awesome work. Write on and God Bless you. |
| Smoky Bear 2007-11-05 ch 1, | abusenot a fan of the rhyme scheme, in order for that to work for me the rhymes have to either be placed internally - or not be obvious. the poem is nice though and stands as testimony to your beliefs so thumbs up for that. as an aside though, i always wondered why life has to be a race, why it can't it be a walk, lol. |