 IntelligentNonsense 2007-12-08 . chapter 1Hrm...make sure that where you're describing Virvel and JW that you give all charecters the same amount of description as the others. Like JW, I have no idea what kind of man to picture in my head. Or if he's even a man. Maybe he's a boy. I wouldn't know by reading this story.
Other than that, good work. |