Hrm...make sure that where you're describing Virvel and JW that you give all charecters the same amount of description as the others. Like JW, I have no idea what kind of man to picture in my head. Or if he's even a man. Maybe he's a boy. I wouldn't know by reading this story.

Other than that, good work.

Ziffeh, this seriously conjured a grin on my face!

A guy in my Creative writing class wrote a story with a guy named JW too...who is JW?? Why does everyone keep referring to this man?

On a better note, although I again wasn't sure who the characters are, they made me laugh. A lot. ^_^ You're very good at capturing humor.