I love the melancholy tone of disbelief to this one.

How you know all these things are true, and yet you can't make yourself seem to believe them.

Fav. Lines:

"because I would hate for them to kneel,

to pray for me,"

That is so tragic. Great job!

Twilight Starr

Wonderful, really.

I love the imagery and the whole theme of it.

You have wonderful rhthym in your writing.

nice. the parenthesis in

"and when it occurs,

that vile s(k)in,"

is a nice effect.

I kinda like this. It's nice. I think the analogy is pretty but again I think you use too many commas...Nonetheless, good work.