Share/Save/Bookmark
Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: the void

Hed in the Cloudz
2008-05-24
ch 1,
abuseI like the tone of this poem, though I can't possibly put my finger on it. It characterizes love very nicely-- not love like in Denoument, but love like so many middle aged American women experience (or is it just me that notices that they all seem to feel the same way?) Either way, I'm sure that this poem seems completely relatable to a LOT of people.
I guess that this isn't technically a comment on the story, but I don't like the author's note. It makes me look at the poem completely differently, and it becomes a lot more, I don't know, obvious and vulgar. You could just let people think that their minds are in the gutter-- that would work just as well, and be rather amusing!
--Yna, from the Review Marathon (see the link in my profile!)
.mate.feed.kill.repeat.
2008-02-27
ch 1,
abuseThis... makes so much sense to me. I can totally relate to it, on a very metaphoric level.

-stix-
babyuwereright
2008-02-02
ch 1,
abusethis is going to sound cheesy but i loved the last line. It just brought up a longing feeling inside of me, good job!
simpleplan13
2007-12-01
ch 1,
abuseI like this a lot.. its so true that letting someone in can make you feel broken.. great piece
Matthew James Current
2007-11-29
ch 1,
abuseNice work. I like the multiple meanings of it, as well as its simplicity. It's very honest and clearly voiced. Well done.

As far as criticism, I would say keep on challenging yourself and writing. The best way to find your own personal poetic voice and to improve your abilities is to just keep writing and challenging yourself. Try different styles, experiment, whatever works for you.

Keep it up :)
sunday night sky
2007-11-24
ch 1,
abuseI love this piece - I love how it can be read on two levels. I understood both immediately. I can relate to it. Beautifully constructed. Lovely. :) xx
luv me like no other
2007-11-17
ch 1,
abusei like both ways of reading it.
EmbersAblaze
2007-11-14
ch 1,
abuseI didn't see the dirty part until the author's note.

It was good. The mature version just leaves me feeling stupid because I am not sexually active anymore.
chibichoco
2007-11-13
ch 1,
abuseNice. I think I will stick to the non-M rated level of this poem. It is very nice.
Lena-Love.
2007-11-13
ch 1,
abuseI really like this poem.
It is emotional
and it shows the hurt and pain after he left.


Powerful and Beautiful in its own way.
not the pain, the expressions.
Return to Top