FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Smoky Bear 2007-11-25 ch 1,  | abusethe poem has a tranquil feeling to it which is complimented by pretty images, my favorite of which is - "The sun is painting a picture of us in the hues of the earth" - that line is beautiful. there are one or two places where there are room for improvement. such as repetition, it interupts flow and weighs the poem down a bit. and 'breath' should be 'breathe'. it has the makings of being a really good poem. keep writing x |
| o2l2 2007-11-16 ch 1, | abuseThat was a great story. You do what a lot of writers do not do, put thought into your work. Unlike some tiresome writers, that go on for hundreds of chapters your story, told a story. |
| kloun doll 2007-11-15 ch 1, | abusemy favorite part is: The sun is painting a picture of us in the hues of the earth,The stars are writing our names upon the midnight sky. I think the meaning of this is powerful. good poem. |
| smile for the sunshine 2007-11-15 ch 1, | abuseI like this. It's pretty. You did an excellent job. Again, I love your works a lot more when I can read them. ; ) |