FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| DJ DJ 2008-03-10 ch 1,  | abuseHey this would be awsome as a prologue to crystal's tale |
| Nyle ve 2008-01-26 ch 1, | abuseWow, that was a pretty interesting beginning. A lot of the couple's words seemed to be a bit cliche. I guess those two people were willing to give up anything for the sake of their children? There's a lot of info explained here, I don't know if you had intended to keep any of it hidden, unless there are more things to be revealed in the actual story :) |
| autumn 1004 2008-01-04 ch 1, | abuseMaybe you should include this In "Crystal's Tale" as a prologue. |
| Angelx25 2007-12-15 ch 1, | abuseHey, This is a good layout for your stories =] Great work! I have been writing chapters to a new story as well if you would like to check it out -Angel |
| ReadingLala 2007-12-07 ch 1, | abuseOh.. what have we here?? Seems like a page turner *hem hem* i mean a hltm turner. Very nice indeed... |
| Ready 2007-11-24 ch 1, | abuseInteresting. I liked how most of it was dialogue, I think it's the most important part of a story. I don't know know if these questions will be answered in your other story but why did the mother, Anna, give more power to Amethyst? Why didn't the father do the same thing? How did the father's brother get so much power? How old are the girls? I get the feeling that they're very young...but how young? And, does anything change as they go through the portal? Erased memory? Are their powers weaker in one world and stronger in another? Where does their power come from? (If any of these questions are answered in the other story than just ignore them, even if that means all of them) Good work; leaving the reader to fill in the details worked out really well, and I like the names a lot. I wonder what this prophecy is... ;-D ~!Andrea |
| unfathomable love 2007-11-17 ch 1, | abuseWhoa...this is too familiar... Did you get the idea for your story from the book series called Twitches? Because is it like..identical. The names, the necklace part, and how the brother is after them. In the book the name of the dad was Aron, not Eran. And the brother's name in the book was Tantos, and you have Tartum. It is so similiar! |
| shadows of a trackless sea 2007-11-16 ch 1, | abuseI really like this, you have a good thing going here, nice job! |
| Hawkmask 2007-11-15 ch 1, | abuseWHAT IN THE WORLD? I WANT TO POKE THE BOOK! O.o Sorry, randomness... I THOUGHT THE DAD WAS CHRIS! NOT ERAN! Anna, that's a pretty name... When did Sarah and Crystal get back together? IS Chris their real dad? Or their Earth care-taker? TELL MEH! |