Wow! Nice story!

... Wow. Just... Wow. There are no other words for how good this story is.

I love your stories!

I like it.I really really like 's very intresting,and origanal most people have the woman as the begger or damsil in distress but I love how you switched you going to write more to it?

odd, but cute. is that even possible? i like it!

:D wow this is interesting. mind elaborating on what verse narrative is? is it a structure [to write], or is it a genre?

i liked the story plot - it's something which was rather interesting to experiment with [which you did a good attempt on]. however, frankly, i didn't like the choppiness of the piece, especially in the beginning, because you broke up a lot of sentences and made them in to paragraphs. i like to vary my sentence length when i write - long, short, middle, and so on. i'd give you an example of what i mean by that choppy feeling [as in, how i read it out in my head]:

HE woke up in a foreign bed.

IN a foreign room

IN a foreign life.

THE ROOF was cream coloured.

IT WAS pure looking and...

yeah. you get the drift.

basically the whole story's okay, it's just that i felt the breaks made it choppy. :D keep it up!