Hm.
You need to work with the rhyming in the first verse. Try to use different words to make it rhyme, and not just the same words.
Other than that, a good start to a song! Hope it'll go well!
The Reverse Edge Blade

i personally liked the rhyming used in this song. the only one i don't really think flows is the word 'copin', but that's just what i think. otherwise i think you should definately write more verses to this song cause the lyrics are really well written. hope it helps!

I think you did a good job on the rhyming.
In general, I like it.

The rhythm is actually a bit off to me, sort of makes it difficult to read. What it really needs is the tune to go with it, because without knowing what the music is doing it's hard to see what the rhythm is up to. I don't think that made much sense, but I hope you kind of get what I'm saying.

But really, this is pretty good. The rhyming is what really makes it look like a sticky sort of song. It reminds me of some of Jack Johnson's lyrics, which do a lot of that internal rhyming. It makes the songs sound clever and catchy. More than good enough for your class ;) Good enough that I'm going to be watching to see what you put out.