FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Ygg 2008-02-16 ch 1,  | abuseVery powerful wording! The last line is especially powerful, with the use of "breaks"; the crackling sounds are almost audible and magnify the internal paradox between the first and second line. Excellent, layered imagery which makes the reader think for him/herself about its meaning. Great poem! Keep up the good work! |
| simpleplan13 2007-11-24 ch 1, | abusebeautiful... I love the middle line |
| Chidori Nadare 2007-11-17 ch 1, | abuseThe first line is too beautiful in its own words. You can almost feel the pain and emotion that resides in this like someone shouting at you. Even then, that someone is so special to you and he/she looks angelic in your eyes. Great haiku. -C.N |
| Nonya Soum 2007-11-16 ch 1, | abuseStrong, but soft words. I like the fullness given to vagueness. When I think of vague, I think spread out and almost empty. Very interesting to think of the spread out parts and what they cover. Fantastic job! Write on! |
| ThisCut-UpAngel 2007-11-16 ch 1, | abuselovely use of words. |