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| Aomera 2008-02-04 ch 1,  | abuseSpangle. such a simply amazing name!! this is far too cool. seriously, your writing is really original but not badly so - greatly so :D I love the ideas here, the whole winter thing - and you make it your own with adding in death and more seasons. the wise old man is brilliant. i love the way you can capture so much - a whole basis for a novel in 6 paragraphs! Ax |
| Kneeling Glory 2007-12-13 ch 1, | abuseThis theme reminds me a bit of Lois Lowry's "The Giver" - one of my favorite book. I'd love to see this developed more. The conclusion came much too quickly for my liking. You've got a good buildup to Spangle being the one to bring "summer" back to the land - she's a bit odd, and odd things happen around her. One thing that confused me was how the old man could be buried if he turned into a pile of dust? The narration for this is neat. It makes it feel like it could turn into a charming kids book - Lemony Snicket style, perhaps. |
| Loiya 2007-12-10 ch 1, | abuseFantastic idea. Whole story is just so... whimsical. The whole tone and all. First paragraph's a bit odd, but how else COULD you say it? perfect, in not at all every way, but at least a few. If I say much more I'll wind up confusing myself. |
| Hanyou Yogonem 2007-11-24 ch 1, | abuseSpangle's world is kind of like mine, most of the time it feels like I'm in a trance(not right now), lol. It's weird to just black out and go around in a circle, kick a ball, or sit on a swing drowning in your own thoughts, and when you come to yourself you don't even remember what it was you were thinking about! Lol. Summer, it is a nice word, I just never thought of it like this before. When I think summer, I think warmth, light emotions(happiness, joy, such...), and smiling faces. You chose a good word! I'll read your other stories as well! |
| Any1there4me 2007-11-21 ch 1, | abuseI really like this short story. Sweet and simple! :) This girl Spangle sounds pretty wise herself, actually. Jenn |
| notated descant. 2007-11-17 ch 1, | abuseThis is a very nice concept you have here, and it's very intriguing to read. However, I'd have liked to see it been developed a little more. It would have been a lot more powerful, I think, if the plot had been developed further, and more details on the background of each character had been given. But with the length given here, it's been well written. Good job! |