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Reviews For: Amarande and Altair

friend 49
2008-03-07
ch 1,
abuseAH.

SCARY.

scaryscaryvampires.

but i like this.

it's good.

:)
requiemofparadise
2008-03-06
ch 1,
abuseEverything about the story works, except for the last line...¨when fires will consume the earth¨. It sounds like a line from a B-grade fantasy movie. And for me it ruins what is otherwise an original take on the mythology. And God alone knows, it needs that. Keep it up! He he, it´ll probably surprise you that you´re getting a review for this so late. :) Hope you got a good grade.
Cittywolf
2008-01-21
ch 1,
abuseIt's awesome. Nice beginning and well written.
The only thing is that this strikes me as a prelude to a story. I know it says oneshot, so I'm wrong, but this really screams out prelude to me.
Very good.

Cittywolf
InSilverShadows
2007-12-20
ch 1,
abuseBut I want to keep my head! *sobs*

Vampires is fresh to death, mayne. *grins*
Rising Tide
2007-12-14
ch 1,
abuseIt's above average. It's just a bit... morbid.
AndroBard1364
2007-12-05
ch 1,
abuseI loved that! You should think about writing another, longer vampire story sometime. Can't wait to see some more stuff from you!
ProcrastinationLUVSme
2007-11-19
ch 1,
abuseOkay holmes, let me break it down for you... it was AWESOME! its better than my goddess that i had to create for english! man, that would be an awesome story... anywho, enjoyed it! i'm OUT!
ChemicalxDisturbance
2007-11-19
ch 1,
abuseI think that was a good version of how vampireds were created. I liked it. :)
Samantha Elisabeth
2007-11-18
ch 1,
abuseI like it! I'm guessing your prompt for school is to make up a god or goddess or something like that? The only thing I'd say is to elongate the second paragraph. At the very end when you're explaining how they became a vampire and such, it seems a little rushed. Also, some wording in the first paragraph (nothing major, though). For example:
You Wrote:
Long ago in the Underworld, Hades and Selene had a child named Amarande, meaning immortal.
My Suggestion:
Long ago in teh Underworld, Hades and Selene concieved a child. They gave her the name Amarande. It meant immortal.
That's just my opinion, I could be totally off the mark. But I really do love the whole story and how it came about.
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