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| friend 49 2008-03-07 ch 1,  | abuseAH. SCARY. scaryscaryvampires. but i like this. it's good. :) |
| requiemofparadise 2008-03-06 ch 1, | abuseEverything about the story works, except for the last line...¨when fires will consume the earth¨. It sounds like a line from a B-grade fantasy movie. And for me it ruins what is otherwise an original take on the mythology. And God alone knows, it needs that. Keep it up! He he, it´ll probably surprise you that you´re getting a review for this so late. :) Hope you got a good grade. |
| Cittywolf 2008-01-21 ch 1, | abuseIt's awesome. Nice beginning and well written. The only thing is that this strikes me as a prelude to a story. I know it says oneshot, so I'm wrong, but this really screams out prelude to me. Very good. Cittywolf |
| InSilverShadows 2007-12-20 ch 1, | abuseBut I want to keep my head! *sobs* Vampires is fresh to death, mayne. *grins* |
| Rising Tide 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseIt's above average. It's just a bit... morbid. |
| AndroBard1364 2007-12-05 ch 1, | abuseI loved that! You should think about writing another, longer vampire story sometime. Can't wait to see some more stuff from you! |
| ProcrastinationLUVSme 2007-11-19 ch 1, | abuseOkay holmes, let me break it down for you... it was AWESOME! its better than my goddess that i had to create for english! man, that would be an awesome story... anywho, enjoyed it! i'm OUT! |
| ChemicalxDisturbance 2007-11-19 ch 1, | abuseI think that was a good version of how vampireds were created. I liked it. :) |
| Samantha Elisabeth 2007-11-18 ch 1, | abuseI like it! I'm guessing your prompt for school is to make up a god or goddess or something like that? The only thing I'd say is to elongate the second paragraph. At the very end when you're explaining how they became a vampire and such, it seems a little rushed. Also, some wording in the first paragraph (nothing major, though). For example: You Wrote: Long ago in the Underworld, Hades and Selene had a child named Amarande, meaning immortal. My Suggestion: Long ago in teh Underworld, Hades and Selene concieved a child. They gave her the name Amarande. It meant immortal. That's just my opinion, I could be totally off the mark. But I really do love the whole story and how it came about. |