While I do like the writing and I rather like the prologue and can appreciate the amount of thought that must have gone into writing the thought proceses of a computer, the second part strikes me as overtly cliche. I don't really like the wake up, 'where am I? Who brought me here?' thought processes, mostly because 1) it minimizes characterization. Everyone in fiction seems to react this way. It's so generic that i can't find myself caring or sympathizing with someone who reacts to the same situation in the same way as a billion others, and that reacction is so unemotive you wonder if anything might get under this person's skin. and 2) it sort of negates the whole fear thing. If i was really, really scared--as I would be if i woke up in a strange, isolated place i had never been all by myself--i wouldn't be able to put together a coherent thought like 'where am i?'. There might be a basic idea behind the actions, but I might start hyperventilating, crying, calling out the names of people I know or my family in a i-am-seriously-freaking-out sort of way, or just just try to fall asleep again and hope i woke up somewhere familiar, all after searching hither and thither for a way out. Maybe after twenty minutes or an hour i'd try to think about the situation logically. Different people react in different ways, but isn't the fear here just too underplayed? The quirky yet psycopathic computer thing too--i like the concept, but in this case it reminds me too much of Glados from Portal. This in general strikes me as portal-y. This isn't badly written, but I've become too familiar with this setting to be able to get into it anymore.

Wow. Real sadism there. The Curator is pretty different from the one in Nightbane, at least. Good character development.

I love it, prehaps i should read the first one before i read the rest... lol

The curator seems to refer to itself in third person. Was that changed from the main story?
Are the 'insert subject name here' parts really the curator saying that whole phrase, or just a mechanic so we don't know the Black Dragonkin's name? Though we technically do from the first chapter. I'd guess that they haven't really bothered to input the names of the test subjects into the system.

Having the Curator call itself "This Curator" implies that there are multiple. That makes sense, in a way, because with all the work it is doing it would be easier if there were several Curators to help ease the load.

Is the point of not specifying what the Dragonkin's name to help the reader identify with him/her more? If so, it might be more difficult. That type of thing is easier when the character is human. An alien creature like this would be too hard to sympathize with without humanizing them, which is always bad when it isn't even human.

Shadowhound

Has the level of technology progressed that much? Because the computer-like starting chapter seems to imply that.

It seems a bit like a horror flick so far, but at the same time one intended to give a better view of the things going on behind the Curator's experiments. Not sure if that will exactly help to display more 'character' behind the curator, but I'll have to see what you've got planned.

Seems very mechanical, though that's what you were going for. It doesn't do much to further the Curator as a character, just a bunch of information. I'm concerned about the computer-like way in which everything is written. It doesn't really fit with the level of technology. People tend to model things off of other things. The golems were modeled after D'rakkor, for example. I don't know. The computer doesn't seem right to me and I can't think of a way to explain it coherently.

Shadowhound