 vaudeville summers 2008-02-20 . chapter 1Emotionally charged and powerful...loved it because it was more than just empty words.
Hm...I hate trying to write constructive criticism, but the part where it says
"and you endarkened me first in just one corner of my mind but
it spread and slowly then exponentially infectiously until swallowed my being whole and the mirror glass is clear but
the reflection is broken (so why do)"
was a bit weak and could have been worded better, especially the "until swallowed my being whole"
Anyway, nice piece ^^
~DeeAnna |
 half-sketched.staccatos 2007-11-21 . chapter 1konnichi wa
Hauntingly beautiful. Except that's cliché, and I hate to be cliché... :P Why didn't you tell me you had another penname? I can never get enough of what you write -- you need to tell me these things!
Favorite line(s): "and when the lenses of your eyes are shattered beyond repair like everything else, it’s hard to see in any other colour than / f-r-ag.m.entat-ion."
Especially the way you wrote "fragmentation." :) Amazing. You're such an awesome writer! Please write more soon -- pretty please? *bats eyelashes* Please?
(Sorry, I'm in school, so this can't be very detailed -- gotta go back to class since lunch period is just about over.)
Zaijen
-Shan- |