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| Dragonwing725 2007-11-20 ch 1,  | abuseIt's very nice, but I kept thinking that the next stanza was going to rhyme. At the same time, I thought it was going to end with the person finding what the person wanted, though that changed. "Looking for the end" "To find myself again" "While I was searching for truth" The person didn't know what they were looking for. And ironically... that's the truth for all of us. We know that we are looking for something, and when we think we know what it is, we change it to something else. Good job. |
| Sakina the Fallen Angel 2007-11-20 ch 1, | abuseThe things you've written about here ring true for me, I can totally relate to this. The third stanza just doesn't quite have the rhythm the first two stanzas had. Sakina x |