 muse d'amour 2008-01-03 . chapter 5ohhooho! ;P
the tone's different from previous "scenarios", but it's still good. |
 muse d'amour 2007-12-18 . chapter 3question: is the guy she goes into the closet with the same "guy she thought was quite attractive"? it's hard to tell...
you might want to try and eliminate the number of characters in the story, since you aren't using any names. it worked well for the previous two stories, since it was just about the boy and the girl, but in this one it's like, "the girl," "that friend," "her best friend," "her best guy friend," "the single best friend of the guy she thought was quite attractive," "the guy with the curly hair," "his best friend"...it's kind of hard to keep track!
just a suggestion :]
other than that, it's wonderful. |
 muse d'amour 2007-12-18 . chapter 4aw, this is so cute!
The last two lines make it so bittersweet- they give it a lot more depth/complexity. brava. |
 rouquinamour 2007-11-25 . chapter 4cute :)
any inspiration from those little GCSers? |
 rouquinamour 2007-11-25 . chapter 1well written! The characters are slightly childish; the way it's written reminds me of a PATD song, or something like that. You write it well, but it's not my type of story :) |
 MzKit10 2007-11-24 . chapter 4firstly, very nicely written and a beautiful piece, secondly, i loved it. Thirdly, did i mention it was brilliant? It's a very...quiet piece, thats all i can describe it as for me. you know, the brilliant girl who's shy and so very unassuming and seems to be not much from the outside but is really amazing and blows you away once you actually listen. its a brilliant piece of work |
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