Again with the ...'s - they are especially obnoxious when you do this: "and started to... / ... roam. Explore." Nice choice of words - it makes him sound like an animal. But really, you are writing about murder and cheating and scandal - you don't need to add in all the dots.

"She would reward him for that, all the time until work started consuming her, and her boss started making her pay for the job" This sentence was confusing. I don't know why the "all the time" is in there... maybe it needs to be on the other side of the comma. I also didn't understand the whole "make her pay for the job" thing until later when you explained... I read that sentence like three times trying to figure it out. If it were clearer it would be easier to read.

Again, if you led up to the murder a little slower, not just "he was sleeping around a lot and she was sick of it and then one night she looked at him in hatred and then poisoned him" it would be a lot better... if you make the reader feel the emotion that the woman is really feeling by showing it slowly unfolding, not just telling us all this junk is happening and now he's dead.

-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)

Ah, those last lines gave me shivers! You honestly have a gift for 'killer endings', my sweet. :D Be it cliff hangers, or jaw-dropping happenings... speaking of which! I'm afraid both of us have left our readers over at hanging so precariously that most of them might lose the grip of their fingertips soon and crash, if we don't update our fics. *universal sigh* Ah, wasn't it good when we didn't have to write solely for other people's pleasure?

You know, I think that's the main reason why we get writer's block- if we start writing to please our readers rather than to please ourselves, then writing becomes pointless. We don't HAVE to write anything for anyone. Except that, since reviews make us ridiculously happy, we get addicted after a little while... and THUS, we start writing for reviews, instead of writing for our minds' contentment. (that's a word, right!? *shatters the cool image*) I started writing because I was bored, and wanted extravagance, and sort of satisfied my needs through writing- it was never really something for someone else to marvel at. Sure, it's nice to share what you've written- but, it just isn't the same thing when you want to SHARE what you've written and when you want to GIVE what you've written to greedy little people who are always yapping like, "WRITEMOREUPDATESOONDAMNYOU!" ... your inspiration doesn't come as easily, since writing is actually something quite personal, in my opinion, and if it doesn't come naturally, then it means that you're writing for different reasons and your muse is probably as confused as you are right now as you read this. :D I'm not sure how to explain- I just found that inspiration comes a lot quicker when you've really got something to tell, or something to take off your chest in different forms, and if you don't put a bit of yourself and your mood into what you're writing then of it won't work right.
See, what sucks about MY inspiration is that it always comes when I'm insanely depressed and/or wanting to smash something up. :D You must NEVER happen on me when I'm writing something, because I'm practically always ridiculously immersed in what it is I'm writing. If you're too detached... then forget it, it's not the right moment. But it doesn't matter, the moment will eventually come. All you've got to do is wait.
AND!
Listen to "The a la Menthe" from the Ocean's Twelve soundtrack. That song kicks ASS. I've been listening to it non-stop and annoying the living crap out of everyone within hearing-distance but hey, when one needs inspiration, it would be safer to go for music rather than reviewers. :D You never know, you might be writing for complete assholes. (Myself excluded... or not...? :D)

Speaking of myself! *yep, absolutely un-egocentric* I've... I've... posted my first story up here, because you simply inspired me, along with this wonderful poet I've found (if want to see who she/he is, go to my fav authors; you're only two for the moment, and you know how picky we both are for favourites :D). HECK. I suck at fiction. :O So, I'll do oneshots for the moment, and I'll be writing "Lust" in a little corner and only posting it if I end up not wanting to try and publish it somehow. Hey! How's it going with your Egyptian Queens trilogy, eh? Or what was it again? I know, I'll bribe you again... *snickers manically* I'll give you a sneak-preview of my next Regenesis chapter if you give me a sneakie of your to-be novel. :D How does that sound, eh? Not too bad I hope!?

Anyways, must dash! Saturday is tomorrow, and it's 10:20pm so I might come on again at midnight or something to finish your lovely little trilogy. I love how you write people problems- for one, it's refreshing after all our supernatural stories where the most unimportant of our characters' worries is the minor fact that the apocalypse is just round the corner, and secondly, your characters just seem to bloom like in Woody Allen's movies. :D You instantly get familiar with them- and I'm not just talking about this ficlet.
Keep up the crazy works!! And, THANK YEH for finally showing a life sign! Hope to hear/read from you soon, me darling.

Take care,
-Sei
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Yeeks. Sounds like something I would do O_o

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Good work- looking forward to the next one!

-Iris