An excellent story, no major critiques. But a few small things:
"dragging her off through a volley of trees," I think the phrase "volley of trees" is a little odd, maybe use "stand of trees" or something.
I think "The old woman was hovering over her face, breathing mint and chive breath over her." should be changed to "The old woman hovered inches from her face, the old woman's breath smelled of mint and chives." or something to that effect.
"The colors flared up again, “VentaNA, LeVIsera, Terra, Fira, Luna. You got that?” You forgot Aqua.

The old lady sort of reminds me of Yoda, what with the cave-like domicile and mysterious conversational techniques.

All very good, I like where this is going.

Seeing as it is unedited, it's quite well done actually. One thing I might mention is your Paragraph Length. (I myself am not good with this, but it's always good to be.)

Paragraph length, in itself, is quite a complicated thing to master for it takes ample amounts of work. Some aspects such as unwanted details can hinder good paragraph length, and so can dialogue. However, this, itself, is the difference with a good writer and a mediocre or average one.

I am not saying you are a mediocre writer (actually a quite nice one), but paragraph length looks good visually and helps people to know what to discard if skimming, and what to not. For not everything is needed unless a story be a mystery. (Most fantasies are lengthened by piles of detail.)

Just a thought.

See what you think about my work. :)

~Nimit

Ah, I'm so intrigued! You are so imaginative! Please write more soon, I can hardly wait!

It was a pretty good chapter. I would just work on the transitions from scene to scene. But other than that, it was a good chapter. :D

Wow, that was so ... quirky. I love it. The humour is brilliant. It had me chuckling. I'm so intrigued by this story, and really want to know what happens next. Please write more soon!

Wow, that had to be the most interesting story I've read so far. It's really good! Like really REALLY good! :D I can't wait for the next chapter.