Hey, Just wanted to complement you on a great story and tell you to keep up the good work.

D

... I have no clue how to respond to this, other than it was absolutely brilliant XD Poor Interviewer! But you have to admit, this sentence pretty much sums them all up: "Seriously...you guys are messed up."
Ooh, each of them are like each other in a way :P They all seem to be, at least, mildly insane.
Can't wait till you update Raven's Will :)

This has to be the fifth time I've read your story, but I think this new version of this chapter was much more realistic than the original. Your descriptions are amazing, just like always. :) Hope you can get to revising the next chapter whenever you can.

Also, in help with your editing, I'll point some things out that I noticed in your chapter.

"Ravi had landed on the cable once more, . . ." - You forgot the 'a' in Ravia.

"Feeling somewhat sorry for himself, he got to his feet. "And here I was, thinking I picked the one kid who would die quickly. So much for that," he muttered.
Sighing again, he got to his feet." - You accidentally made Gray stand up twice.

Again, love your story! All of your stories actually. :)

Excellent plot- it flowed together so perfectlykept me hooked the whole way through

YOU MADE ME WASTE TWO HOURS TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

It was a great piece.

Wow, I read 45 chapters and I only reviewed until now. Powerful scene.

Amazing! This is well written, imaginative and original (or at least, I've never read a story totally similar to this). It had me hooked from the start.

Just one question, did you mean 'flier' or did you purposely spell it as 'flyer'. 'Cause 'flyer' is those brochure things people give out.

Very moving story, well written. I'm looking forward to your sequel. As an engineer I really hope the Elders get what is coming to them. Technology is a tool, it does not choose sides. Really, their hypocrisy in just that first law.

The technology isn't even there anymore, and still there is war. Did you screwdriver start it or something? Ah, I'm rambling.

I applaud your work, good sir.

First off... Your story is amazing,

Secondly... Why can I not buy it?

And third... Actually, third is just the first and second points combined.

Every character in the story is new and interesting, and you manage to project their emotions in a stunning manner. The way Jett's character, as well as the other flyer trainees just seemed so... human. Every character had strengths, and every character had flaws. Even Jett, who was a total badass by the end almost broke down at the ceremony.

Another great aspect of this story was the mystery. Straight out of chapter one you had me guessing at things not revealed until far later. Clues would offer hints, but never unveil the truth. Hell, in some cases I was certain I had figured it out, only for it to be something completely unexpected, yet still completely believable. These little mysteries kept me enthralled throughout all fifty chapters.

Then we have the conflict itself. We have evil versus dark gray, which is a far cry from the clear-cut alignment issues usually presented by stories. Even Ra'Skrevvor (did I spell that right?) the main antagonist of the story, and obviously a seriously evil person, could be sympathized with. I could understand his reasons, even if he was insane. And while TroKas was undoubtedly the good guys in this story, they were far from pure. They're a mostly ruthless organization with a disregard for civilian life, but they're the only things standing between Ra'Skrevvor and complete planetary destruction.

All these aspects come together perfectly, creating a finely crafted story that is easily deserving of a spot on the best-sellers list. Far more deserving than most I dare say. I will now be reading the sequel, and while I do so, I expect you to get on a phone with a publisher, show them what you've got, and let me get my hands on a paperback copy.

Your story is stunning, and definitely deserves it.

Liam

WOW. what an incredible story! i started it last night, and could not put it down! i had an eye exam this morning, but raced home afterwards and finished it up in 4 hours time.

let me tell you...doing that with your eyes STILL dilated is pretty hard to do, but SO WORTH IT.

thank you for the incredible adventure, and I cannot wait to read the sequel!

I have to admit, this is one awesome story. Your characterizations are awesome and i love all the characters in it. I wish i knew what happened to the Twelve and Jett's flight fight, if there was one. Really hope you continue this.

OH MY GOD I LOVE IS SO NICE

Wow. I loved this story! It was amazing, from Jett's first encounter with the TroKas, to the horrific trip in the Forbidden Zone, and the tension during the family reunion; I loved it all. The only thing that I had an issue with was that the ending seemed to be in the middle of something, rather than the end. I think it's only because I wanted to read more, and your sequel isn't updated yet; I am somewhat impatient ;). Also, I wish you didn't make Jett's flyer suit white, I preferred the black, but that is just my opinion, and it doesn't affect my opinion of the story itself. Anyways, congratulations on a job well done. I really liked it. D

well, job well done. thoroughly enjoyed this story; it kept my attention to the end. It's not easy finding good stories on fictionpress nowadays; I'm glad that I stumbled upon yours. thanks for sharing this! I look forward to the sequel! D

I liked the various viewpoints. It gives the reader a chance to know about different things going on in the story (and the author to reveal such information). It also made me like Syk a lot more. :D haha I tend to like manipulative characters for some reason.