Hm. This was an interesting piece. The beginning was amazing and lovely, but the middle seemed a slight bit confused and the ending seemed to be, I want to say, uncertain.

The lines where I think the harmony of the piece were off were "but not so emotions. / Can’t say no, / but yes not justified."

And after that the lines just didn't seem to resonate with the sparkling originality and clarity that your beginning held. Well now that I think about it, I'm not being helpful am I? Just pointing out flaws isn't really constructive... So let's see here.

Part of what made the beginning so good was that the lines ended well and felt well thought out and fluid. The middle of the poem consists of shorter lines, it feels more condensed, crowded even. And those few "off" lines in the middle seem almost to cloud the message of the poem. Also, you divide the lines in the middle even further with commas, adding to a snappy, shortened feel in the words. So when the lines become longer and the poem more fluid at the end, the structure and feel of the poem suffers and the wording seems forced or off somehow.

I hate giving negative feedback, especially with artists of your ability level and talent. So I truly hope that this was helpful to you! Keep writing and doing your thing :)

Yay! You wrote something! Wahoo!! Hehe. I loved it too. Very beautiful and poetic =) Very good job!

I really like this. It's beautiful. The last line (I am a musicain so I know it) was clever. Incredibly creative. Good work!