 abstractelysium 2007-11-24 . chapter 1This is really beautiful, but your punctation is getting in the way. The images are lovely but the "Line of poetry,/Another line,/Third line,/Final line." format break the images apart in places I'd like to see smoothly flowing together. Plus, it's confusing to use this typical rhyme scheme line format in a freeverse poem. Well done, though - and seriously worth revision!
abby |