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| cup of glee and sparkles 2008-06-07 ch 1,  | abuseLike you, I'm gripped! I wish it wasn't a one-shot... Though the paragraphs are a bit long (my laptop screen is small, so that's probably just me... it's ancient) there's such a great flow. You're able to use the second person (that's what it's called, right?) beautifully. I really like the line: Emptying the contents of your bag onto the table, you find four notebooks – three full and one full of doodles; a couple of pens, too. I dunno, I just think it's really pretty. |
| black*tears*of*innocence 2008-01-24 ch 1, | abuseOh my goodness! I was cringing the whole time I was reading this cuz I could SO empathize with you! This sounds almost exactly like a morning for me before I go to school. It was written SO well, I couldn't even pull myself away even though it was painful reading all these bad things happening to you! But, you did SUCH a great job on this!! You took an everyday happening and turned it into a story that was filled with action, a bit of humor, a hint of suspense and a happy ending. Good job with this!! Thanks for your review, btw! Missed you! I'm glad to be back on FP. |
| Autumn Dance 2007-11-24 ch 1, | abuseHullo... :) I Love this. It's so fast paced and hilariously glum that you just breathe a massive sigh of relif when you realise you're late! Well done Lowly, the lexis and techniques you used- pathetic fallacy to set the mood works so well. It's great :) Keep this going! |
| water lorelei 2007-11-24 ch 1, | abuseOh, I hate it when that happens! I liked this piece, though. Makes you laugh a bit and then remember all the times you've done the exact same thing... The only thing I would suggest would be to space it out a bit more. :) KW! -Rachel |
| Michael Dempsey 2007-11-24 ch 1, | abuseWow! - That's the best word to describe this! I'm not just saying that; it really is...just, wow. The way I was dragged through the screen into the environment of the story is bloody incredible - I've said before, you're gifted at that. It also made me smile at the right moments. I'm adding this to my favourites!! :D (Pretty much the same happened to me last week - although I live about 5 minutes away from campus, so it wasn't as bad lol) (sorry :P) |