FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| kaiialyne 2007-11-25 ch 1,   | So nice idea, but I noticed a few structural things you might want to fix. For one thing, it's a bit contradictory to say that "perhaps" the flowers will "surely" bloom. Will they, or won't they? Also, the second stanza seemed a bit awkward, especially the second line. But otherwise very nice! |