FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Shasta Valentine 2008-04-28 ch 1,  | abuseok. so at first, i was going to critsize you about how your poem was too straightforward, and needed more poetry than the behind meaning. but then i realized, that this is poetry, and it doesn't need pretty adjectives every other phrase, it doesn't need ironic statements or dramatic ending, it needs honesty and this is what this poem purely is:honesty. so now that i'm done rambling, i'd like to not dramatically end this review by saying great job: keep writing. --sv |
| Charity F 2008-02-13 ch 1, | abuseIt has its good points. However I felt that "Your eyes are so pretty" sounded so superficial and sort of broke the rhythm you were slowly building up. It really stuck out. Also the same thing happened with "sweetie". So I felt that it got lost from there. Needs some work but you've got some good ideas here too. |
| simpleplan13 2007-12-01 ch 1, | abuseI love all the color descriptions... the beginning part describing happiness is awesome and the whole piece is wonderful... and so sweet |