Hey!

Reminds me of a few of my poems. Anyway, it's pretty good. Some of the rhyming is a little forced, but I really appreciate the effort. Not many people even try anymore.

Good job.

Luv ya,
Tashi :)

Rather than commenting on the poetic aspect of this, I'd much rather comment on the medical aspect of this. You mentioned the person cutting "across the street" and hitting the biggest vein. Even if this person sliced through both of their wrists and hit the biggest vein, the chances of them dying are miniscule.

Just a small thought-- the actual accuracy of the statement detracts from the poem, in my belief.

--Coma