Reviews for Darling, Be Mine - FictionPress.com

T.L. Houlin 2008-01-03 ch 1,	abuseNot bad. One thing I would recommend, though...songs often don't translate well without music unless they have a real solid meter or decent rhyme. I'll be honest...I'm not great at reviewing anything on the poetry side of things...I've only been writing songs for a year or two now. I'd probably have a bit more to say for Fiction, but I really don't have time at the moment...I haven't even written my own stuff in a while. But the main suggestions I would give would be to work on meter and rhyme. Blank verse is really hard to do right. I don't even know what goes into doing it right without making it sound like stilted prose.
Twilight Starr 2007-12-13 ch 1,	abuseCute poem and adorable title. It flowed well. Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~
rust phoenix 2007-11-29 ch 1,	abuseIt really does sound like a song. The emotion is sweet and realistic. I think you could have used some more original metaphors in places, but overall a great piece. I'd love to hear it put to music. Keep writing!
Solstice Of Light 2007-11-29 ch 1,	abuseWhen reading through a song, it's best not to have the numbers, as they interrupt the flow somewhat. However, the words were good. No strong rhythm, but I can see how the music can do all that for you.