FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Lucky Seven Paws 2008-08-11 ch 10,   | combined review/suggestion box I can see how you're writing yourself into a hole. You do need to add something to the plot to keep things moving at a steady pace. It's not hard to imagine Clyde waking up and there being some antics with helping him cope with being a vampire (possibly an event that takes a few days to accomplish, taking time to analyze the reception of the news from Inda on her mother). Here the group could figure out a place to go to that has potential allies against Arius (some place where a band of werewolves meet like an underground part of a Butchers shop, as an example). Or something could happen to Syra hurdling the story forward, maybe having something to do with her seemingly psychic abilities? I have to say it's all going very well and I can't wait to see you continue the story and how you do it. Good luck! :) |
| Vampire0175 2008-06-12 ch 10, | Awesome chapters, sorry it took me so long to review. I cant wait for you to update! -Raven |
| Aleksy The Flying Onion 2008-04-14 ch 1, | Aw! I'm really diggin' the premise you have here. I especially like how 'normal' the supernatural elements are to the characters, and the whole spiderling infestation amuses me greatly. :D I love your names. Seriously. 'Nuff said. You have very good dialog--believable, smooth, and just enough physical descriptions peppered throughout to keep the ball rolling. You're a very talented writer! :D My only miff is the lack of physical descriptions of the characters themselves. This is only a personal preference, though, as I know that some writer's prefer to leave the imagining part up to the reader. So you can disregard that if you like. Anywho, I'll continue reading this as soon as I can. Got some Shakespeare to attend to. Ugh. XP Take care! :D |
| RandomActs 2008-04-14 ch 1, | Hi, don't be creeped out that I haven't put up a story yet, I am basically a chicken. I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed this story. I would like some more...don't be discouraged! Your characters have depth and believability and I love the friction between the wolves and the 'lime stinkies'- write on! |
| Vampire0175 2008-04-06 ch 7, | Yay you updated! I wonder who white wolf is... I guess we are going to have to find out^_^ Cant wait for the next chapter! -Raven |
| An Inside Joke 2008-03-28 ch 1, | I like the idea that something supernatural can be a minor annoyance to a werewolf, athough I wonder what spiderlings are. I would have liked a bit more of a break from standard vampire/werewolf mythology, or something else that really sets this story apart, but you had good charecterizations and a nice set-up. |
| Vampire0175 2008-02-29 ch 6, | Awesome story I love it! I hope your having fun doing this story! Can't wait for you to update! -Raven |