FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simpleplan13 2007-12-04 ch 1,  | abuseI like how the ending & beginning are the same and the simile is awesome and the message about helping ppl is nice |
| Cloak-of-Shadows 2007-12-03 ch 1, | abuseI like the emphasis of repetition. You didn't draw it out too long either, which tends to make it hard to capture the reader. You also made the beginning mirror the ending, which is an interesting way to focus things. |