Hey, I love your narrator, who is so frank and unpretentious.

You had me at this:

"2. It’s necessary to shout “woo-hoo” if you want to double the height of your jump.

3. Penguins are **."

So incredibly true. :)

Contrary to what you seem to think according to your author's note, I found this story to be very realistic. The characters seemed like they could actually exist, as opposed to the fairy-tale perfect characters in many stories. Overall, great job!

wow. that was nice ...
and different to a lot of other stories i have read, at the end it was also really sexy .. though as opposed to a lot of other works, the sexiness was closer to reality - i mean, somewhow i could relate to it, it was kind of a more common situation for young adults
and the whole stoned thing? wonderful!! i loved how the protagonist was not some naive, innocent thing because frankly, i hate it when they are like that
apart from that i think weed is a big part in a youths life, at least where i live or almost in every country in europe it is something everybody tries at least once and some do it more regulalry than others ... still it is a part of life and for you to include it in your story, i think, is genius
greetZ

"Mario is **. Mario doesn’t get ** often. I don’t think he has angry noises in his repertoire."
That line had me cracking up. I lurved the Mario references! This one is definitly going up on my fav list.

This made me laugh. A lot. Especially since one of my first thoughts while playing Mario 64 was: 'where the eff is Yoshi?!'. We so connect. In a non-creepy kinda way. I'm also in love with a bunch of your stories. I'll just be adding them to my favourites list now. Toodles!

Fae.

This was AWESOME! You don't come across too many stoned heroines that are totally badass but you managed to pull it off wonderfully. I didn't catch any grammar mistakes or tense changes but then I wasn't really looking, too distracted from laughing. Great job, kid!

Ollie May

This story is pure awesomeness.

Wow, I've never said anything that lame before. Well, maybe I have, but seriously this was really well written. You don't know how many times I read and re read the line that starts 'I'm hot, you're hot, lets do a superhot rhumba...' It's very ingenious if indeed you came up with it yourself. I love you and your stories.

AH, no, this story is awesome. i love everything about it. it's randomness, it's realistic..ness, it's concepts. and MARIO IS THE **. (and so is weed)

but i love this. thank you for writing it. seriously.

"Swimming is anatomically impossible for Italian plumbers." I can't remember laughing this hard for the past couple of months. That is so true, though. Gotta love Mario Kart.

homework parties... ha ha ha. Cute and totally unexpected...

I love this story, it's different to most of the one-shot's on fiction press and a bit unrealistic which makes it more like real life. (Does that make sense?)I like the style in which it is written and the repeated refereneces to Mario. Keep writing :-)

(laughs long and loud) Thank you, and yes... It did go pretty fast, however I think it's good and I enjoyed it. (And I didn't notice any switches in tense,) and thank you again.

Oh, wow. I'm kicking myself for never reading your stuff before. Must rectify this immediately.

I think the biggest thing that was missing for me in this story was the boring, factual stuff. I wasn't sure if the narrator was male or female until pretty far in the story. I also wasn't sure of the ages of either of the characters. Until the part where Hetty's dad comes out of the house, I thought she was home alone. For much of the begining, I thought Hetty was older, living on her own, and the guy next door just really liked to party. I think it would help if Hetty explained some of these things in the beginning.

As for your questions, I don't think the story advances too quickly. You do such a good job of building Hetty's character in the beginning that I think anything that follows would work. Calling Tex "the bane of my existence" seems a little over the top though.

The voice is amazing.

*off to read more!*

Ah, this is way cute. And you're totally right - why the hell is Everybody Loves Raymond AWAYS on? Because, quite frankly, I don't think anybody loves Raymond. My RA is constantly watching it in the lounge hallway and it ** me off. But yeah, you should add onto this - make it a series of one-shots about the two of 'em or something. Because it rocks.

i wouldn't say it advances to quickly; however, the initial hatred doesn't actually make that much sense, and it doesn't add anything for the story either. maybe negative indifference would be a more realistic emotion to begin with.

anyway, i laughed. thank you.