FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| perpetual questions 2008-06-08 ch 1,  | abuse[The second prize review.] Not bad; the emotion is conveyed well through phrases like "flailing arms" and "I can't force it out". It does seem to me to be overall a little flat. I think more elaboration and metaphor/simile/imagery would improve it and keep it from seeming too prosaic. I can also see how adding some more words to the poem would give it more impact. ~Adrian |
| kloun doll 2008-03-22 ch 1, | abuseomg it reminds me of everytime I get mad a lot! I can relate to this and it's very stressful when you don't want to be angry but you can't take the control. |
| SickButPretty 2008-02-23 ch 1, | abuseI like this poem, it's strange, like it signifies feeling dissociated from your own feelings. I sometimes feel like that. Oh and ps how did you get the paragraphs to work? My lines have run all together for my last poem. And the ones before that I think... I will review some other poems since this one is short. |
| Nemonus 2008-02-03 ch 1, | abuseInteresting concept. Ah the curse of the kind, to be plagued by other's problems? That's what I get from it, anyway. Your wording is clear, as I said before. Good work. |
| lordelfy 2007-12-10 ch 1, | abuseWow great images here! This is really sad that stuff like this happens; taking out the anger on someone else. Great write |
| THROUGHTHESEEYES 2007-12-10 ch 1, | abuseWelcome back! If only we all could remember the last 2 lines! Such insight expressed well! |
| Blissfully Sarcastic 2007-12-06 ch 1, | abuseIt was a nice /idea/, but the flow was off; it seemed pretty choppy. Nonetheless, it was still a pretty good read. |
| multiples of six 2007-12-05 ch 1, | abuseThis is sad. I like it; nice job. |
| Princess-anna57 2007-12-05 ch 1, | abuseInteresting concept. I like it. :) I understand this poem because I can totally relate. Great job! Write on. ~Anna~ ^_^ |
| Moon-Chaser 2007-12-04 ch 1, | abuseWow, I like the way that you wrote this poem, I can relate to misplaced anger, there is a lot of it in my family. I'm glad that you are back to posting poems, you are very gifted at it. Keep it up. |
| angelgirl212 2007-12-04 ch 1, | abusethis was a good poem you express emotion. Your a great writer! |