I would have liked the last line to repeat the word 'as' instead of 'and', and the line,"move like the angels sweep her" disrupted the rythm a little in my eyes. Something about the number of sylables in that line just jars me, so maybe shorten it a little somehow, or balance it a little better with the line above it by playing with the number of sylables in that line. I really like the imagery in this poem, however, and it effectively paints a painful picture of what this girl is going through.

So all in all, good job. ^ ^

-Ramen

Lovely!

a very vivid image of a performer, lost without an audience.

keep writing