FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| SickButPretty 2008-02-23 ch 1,  | abuseI like the last line, I find the format a bit strange but that's OK. Your poems are pretty short so I can't really think of a lot to say, sorry! |
| lookin4nemo 2008-01-22 ch 1, | abusethis is really good! I love how you explained your desire to feel something that you wud...touch fire! really great and keep it up! |
| perpetual questions 2008-01-06 ch 1, | abuseNot bad, but the last line seems to fall short; it doesn't seem to be a strong finish... Other than that, okay. |
| someday-i-will 2008-01-05 ch 1, | abuseSorry about me not reviewing as much as I used to. Anyway, this piece=great. I was trying to write something similar the other day actaully but I ran out of ideas so this could be inspiring. Thanks for that! |
| staras 2007-12-17 ch 1, | abuseI like this piece of yours, its words are very captivating, with meaning lacing in and out of it. It's shortness lets them wrap around it a couple more times so that they hold more power. -Amy |
| Loiya 2007-12-13 ch 1, | abuseif you wanted to put the italizied part on the right you could have added - all the way across. It worked for me, anyway. |
| review 2007-12-13 ch 1, | abusehaha naughty-much? not too shabby yourself, simple. |
| multiples of six 2007-12-10 ch 1, | abuseI really like this! I definitely know what you mean with the nonitalicized bit. The italics confused me a little at first.. is it like, the speaker is bored with the relationship they're in, so they're going to cheat? Anyway, great poem! =) |
| THROUGHTHESEEYES 2007-12-10 ch 1, | abuseBrackets work. You could suggest to your readers to read poem without bracket thoughts, then with them. As usual...great message! |
| Smoky Bear 2007-12-08 ch 1, | abuseit's quite strong in it's brevity. for impact you should put a break after 'never felt anything, i know fp editing is a pain, but it's worth it. bracketing the italics would also help with clarity. the poem itself is good but could look visually better on the page. nice work though x. |
| Blissfully Sarcastic 2007-12-07 ch 1, | abuseVery interesting. Short; cute. I'd just put the italicized text in parentheses, because it confused me while reading. Other than that, it was a pretty good read. Keep it up. *Winks* |
| Moon-Chaser 2007-12-06 ch 1, | abuseI like this, the right justified would have been good thought your right. I like the way you wrote this all the same. Keep it up. |
| Princess-anna57 2007-12-06 ch 1, | abuseWell written. *thumbs up*. Keep up the fantastic work! ~Anna~ ^_^ |
| Militant Poet 2007-12-06 ch 1, | abuseVery nice, I like the double poem idea, with one behind the other. =D |
| Fan Fan 2007-12-06 ch 1, | abusewow there's one unspoken desire of many written within just words of so few :) Good job |