Reviews for Shattered Mirror - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Shattered Mirror

NightmareWriter 2007-12-19 ch 3,	I like how Fallon was saying that Vampires and Humans are in all the same. Yes, Deon is calmer about wanting to kill Fallon, perhaps it was what Fallon was saying.
Brenli 2007-12-09 ch 3,	In agreement with losingmyfaith, group quotes done by a single character in one paragraph and create a new paragraph for whenever a new character begins a quote. Other than that pretty good so far. Fallon made some good points during their awesome journey about town. -Nod nod- And musically? Well I haven't seriously written anything in a while (which hurts me - can't wait for Winter Break), but I've been roleplaying with AmetrineButterfly/Jacquei and I've been listening to a lot of Flyleaf and Evanescence according to mood, as well as Angelspit and Kittie. But as of today, actually, I listen to Evanescence the most, "Missing" in particular, which was a song that went perfect with today's RP.
Faith Adeline 2007-12-09 ch 3,	I liked it. Very good. Just a couple things to remember, whenever a new person speaks they get a new paragraph. Also, if a character speaks for a while, that can all be in one paragraph. Such as Fallon. If it's just her speaking, you can keep it all together, even if she's doing an action in between it. If that doesnt make sense, or if you have a question, feel free to message me. Umm, music wise, I love too many things to have a favorite. But some things I listen to are paramore, three days grace, breaking benjamin. Lots of stuff. lol. Update as soon as you can. Faith
MidnightThief15 2007-12-09 ch 3,	Another good chapter. XD
Faith Adeline 2007-12-08 ch 2,	Uh, I like this, but it seems a little immature to me. Just the writing, like the words used. Just try to use more descriptive words, and make them seem more elegant. Because most vampires after all, are most of the time elegant (and sadistic ha) Keep it up. Faith
MidnightThief15 2007-12-08 ch 2,	It is a very good chapter. It also makes me wonder about future events. Fallon certainly does love to play with her prey, I mean servant. I can't wait until the chapter comes when they start having feelings for each other, or rather, STRONGER feelings. XD. Keep up the good work.
Brenli 2007-12-08 ch 2,	HEY! Here's the first chapter! XD Right on! It's a pretty good start; I think a little proofreading to put in some missing punctuation marks would do it some good, as well as fleshing all of this out of a little bit - everyone loves more descriptive words and things like that. But otherwise pretty good!
NightmareWriter 2007-12-08 ch 2,	I'm sorry but she sort of weird, I mean she's welcoming him to kill her once the contract is over. She makes me laugh though, so does he something.
MidnightThief15 2007-12-08 ch 1,	Interesting start. Looks pretty good. Can't wait for the next chapter. XD
Brenli 2007-12-08 ch 1,	Hey hey hey-! Tis Bren! Um, well I got an email last night saying that the next chapter for this story was posted, but the link is apparently "outdated." Huh. But I nonetheless read the prologue, and may I say you have a real knack for drawing people in. Writing prologues can be quite difficult but I'd say you did a marvelous job, considering that I now really desire to read the story... but the link is "outdated." Which is quite uncool. T.T
Faith Adeline 2007-12-07 ch 1,	Mmk, I like where this is going. I'll have to read the first chapter in order to really give you suggestions. So update soon. Faith
SilverTwilight 2007-12-07 ch 1,	The summary sounds like it will turn out to be a wonderfully high-action, orginal idea. I think you should definately keep up with it, but maybe clean up the prologue a bit. I like the beginning paragraphs, but last part seems a little rushed. You could expand on everything a bit, and create the mood some more. I am anxious to see the rest of this. Keep writing! ~ Dx

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