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| Ramza the Heretic 2007-12-09 ch 1,  | abuseThis is quite imaginative, relating revenge to a ship caught in tempestuous weather. Also, there's the very nice use of kinaesthetic and death imagery, seen in your reference to a corpse and descriptions of parts of the ship bobbing on water or swaying in wind. I see also how you have deliberately shaped the poem so that they resemble the sails of the ship 'Revenge'. Or are they meant to represent something else? Perhaps the waves of the turbulent sea? Nice job anyway. I'm not too comfortable with your use of oxymoron/antithesis in "stagnant whirlpool". What is it you mean by this? On the whole, though, I have no problems with this. A marvellous job done. =) |