Sorry too lazy to log in ;)

Okay, firstly, the starting sentence is a bit confusing. Just because it's a new chapter and you didn't establish exactly who you were writing about straight off. After a second it became clear, but that initial confusion was enough to make me go "uh lulz wat?" cos I'm a n00b.

LMFAO Mute's appearance is hilarious!

Well, Nocturne made his choice. Where will it go now? ONLY YOU CAN TELL ME VIA UPDATING PLZ!!

Hey there. First, I have to say, you should enable annoymous reviews.

Secondly, good start. I trust you're gonna expand more on this, because it's interesting. I did notice a few grammatical errors (such as "who's" instead of "whose" and "you're" instead of "your"), but you've done very well. My interest equals high.

Cookie? :pleading chibi eyes: