I liked your other poems better. This one made no sense, haha. The first four lines and the second four lines portray graphic images of an emotion, but I don't see how they tie in with the last line - which is brilliantly worded, but seems like it doesn't belong there. I don't know. Great imagery and emotion, even if it is not easy to understand. Sometimes emotions just aren't

-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)

god it's been so long! you're still deliciously angstful. love the repetition of messiah, certainly effective.

brilliant. just that.

interesting metaphors... I like it a lot

Amazing. My favorite phrase is, "i am a train/ trembling with coal in my veins", but the repitition of "messiah" is also intriguing as well. The overall idea is very well executed, and so beautifully poetic.

Holy cow! By far the coolest idea and poem.

What a wonderful mental image. My only critique is maybe a period after "hands over my mouth" to switch from one metaphor to the next. But then again, it's beautiful without it. Your choice. +fave