FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| The Postscript 2007-12-10 ch 1,  | abuseGreat! First of all, I think the title is perfect how it is -- it really sets up for a poem that allows duality. And you have to be careful that duality does not change into vauge generalization .. but I think here there is definitely a duality that works well with the poem. One for You - one what? One song? One look? One poem? One wish? As the poem develops, it explores each of the ideas as being plausable, intriguing thoughts - together and individually. I love the idea of two melodies that "do not mesh" - I picture, (or rather, hear) two melodies that sound sweet seperately, but together just don't combine to the same sweetness. And in this sense, the clash is a natural flaw - not by any human intervene. It's here that you really begin to touch on elements of romanticism ... not a two-lovers kind of romanticism, but an Emerson, Thoreau, Whitman, (etc.) kind of romanticism. Great repeitition of the beginning to lines - it rather subtly sets up almost an irony, that here you thought this event happened only once, but in truth, it happened more than once (whether it did in reality, or whether it did in a more abstract sense of you replaying it over in your mind, etc.) These are some really big concepts that you are touching on in this one little poem! Few can pull that off .. REALLY great work - I'm impressed! Keep writing, k. |
| Fan Fan 2007-12-09 ch 1, | abuse"Exquisite melodies" is what really put the elegance to this poem. Good job :) |
| lordelfy 2007-12-09 ch 1, | abusei really like the images you create. I would love to here some background info about this poem. And the title fits well! I dont think you should change it |