FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| chris puggers 2008-05-28 ch 1, anon. | abusei luv it i really adore little miusl |
| Eirine 2008-03-19 ch 1,  | abuseI really liked the ideas you showed in your story but I found it difficult to keep up with. It is almost too simplistic, I think maybe you should get more detail into your descriptions and give reasons for all your character's actions. For example; why did Roxana run away? The reader gets the idea that it's because she is being mistreated- but maybe show Roxana's thoughts, why has she put up with this for all these years only to suddenly run away? Was there an incident that made her snap? But I like it- keep going with it- it's a lovely idea. I'd actually love to see an extract through Prince Christopher's eyes. What does he think of Roxana? Keep it up, they're lovely stories And thankyou for your comments! |