Reviews for Simple Songs of Life

Sword of the Earth
2008-01-29
ch 1,

abuseI like it! It's not completely down-and-depressing in my point of view...but I read it as rather matter-of-fact, yet with a hint of sadness. If you have ever heard the song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green day, I just thought parts of this poem would fit to some of the lines..."I walk this empty street, this boulevard of broken dreams, when/where the city sleeps..."
"adds cherry"

Best of luck,
-ST

Nemonus
2007-12-13
ch 1,

abuseI really like the first few quotes in your profile.

Pretty good poem. The rhythm is unique but therefor indistinct--it has a steady tempo, not a particularly driving one. I did get caught up in the narration and definitly wanted to know what the narrator was going to do in this odd situation. I like some of the surreal scenes you conjure up, such as the dark boot stomping on the light. The symbolism was pretty basic, light for light and dark for dark, but I did like the inclusion of the colors (red etc). "all like snow too" sounds much too wordy; taking off the "too" will do it much good. The reference to Dally made sense after I read the note, but I think it'd be more powerful if you referenced something more people are likely to know. "What does it all mean, I wonder" needs a question mark somewhere.

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