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| fatbird33 2008-02-22 ch 1,  | abusevery random, but very deep. usually those two are oxymorons, but you managed to put them together very well! |
| concerto49 2008-02-01 ch 1, | abuseInteresting - personification on plants. Plant story - at least it's different. You referred to it as it - no he or she for it? They have friends too. Do they talk? Maybe it ends up as a bit of humor - at least I saw it that way. |
| Multicolored Berry 2008-01-07 ch 1, | abuseAww, I genuinely feel bad for that poor carrot. It was duped! Good, short little strange story you have here. As far as characterizing carrots and nettles goes, you achieved it quite well! I don't know how I feel about that nettle though . . . on the one hand, it was the underdog — it was expected to fail, but did it? No. It completed its mission, and it did a good job of it too. But he betrayed the carrot! :( I think I'm getting into this a bit much. Oh well, in any case, it was cute, and well written. |
| L3G3nD 2007-12-25 ch 1, | abuseWell, it's quite a refreshing idea you have here. [As it struggled to hold onto consciousness, its life flashed before it.] This should be a flashback, right? If yeah, I think it's better if you divide the flashback from the other paragraph, since it'll look a lot neater. The repetition of 'expected' in paragraph 8 is fine, but the 1st 'expected' on the 9th paragraph is a bit awkward. Try changing your usage of vocab. Anyway, your story is good enough to capture my attention. Keep the work up, and of course, happy writing! |
| Equilibrium 2007-12-24 ch 1, | abuseHi.This is Equlibrium from The Five. Great job with this essay. I bet you got good marks for it. I particularly liked the way you wrote from the plant's perspective. That was an interesting touch. Hope to hear more from you. |
| Halfbloodlycan 2007-12-21 ch 1, | abuseThat was very interesting. I have never read a story from a plant's point of view before. Very clever. I can't find any errors and the structure is pretty good. Hat's off to your creativity. ~Lycan |
| The Crazy Talk Kid 2007-12-21 ch 1, | abuseInteresting, very interesting. Just goes to show that one should never trust a weed. |