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| Zonne 2008-06-14 ch 1, | abuseI love this. I love everything about it. I wouldn't change a word. The bold, the Woman, Food, Now the I have claws. Don't make me use them. CLASSIC and incredibly funny, bright, and sad. Wow. I am required to be specific here... I love the way you switch between mom and teen. The emotions of both, one then the other, was brilliant. I think the bits in bold are fantastic comic relief, however, they did seem a bit confusing. WRITE MORE!! You have such great style. THe review marathon link in my profile Zonne |
| Chalk 2008-04-06 ch 1, | abuseOh, i absolutely loved it. it was poignant and true and powerful and humurous too (Woman, food, now :P...classical!) definetely one of my favourties... |
| Schlotta Whaley 2008-03-07 ch 1, | abusereally sweet:) i think a lot of people have these same sort of thoughts. the dogs thoughts added in made it funny. |
| Twilight Starr 2008-03-06 ch 1, | abuseGood piece. Nice work. Have an excellent day. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Translucently Opaque 2007-12-13 ch 1, | abuseSad, but unfortunately true for many people. Poignant and eloquently put. It was unclear at first who was talking when at first, but I figured it out when the dog was mentioned. The way used normal, italicized, and bold text was very effective, and the dogs thoughts added some humor to the otherwise melancholy narrative. There were just a few grammatical errors. There should be a start of a new paragraph when the mother says ““I remember when…” after the daughter says “If I didn’t do what she said the first time…” “It’s not that she’s not pretty…” Might have worked better if structured “It’s not that she isn’t pretty…” This may just be a matter of opinion, though. "...but I refrain myself from reading it." The word 'myself' is unnecessary. Other than those minor points, congratulations on another interesting read! |