I love this piece. The only thing I didn't like so much was the very last line. I think it would have sounded better if it was "But tonight I am waiting patiently for the stars to fall down." or "But tonight I am waiting patiently for the stars to fall." or something. Just with the "start to" in there it makes it a little difficult to read because "start" and "stars" are spelled so similarly. The rest of the piece is lovely though, and you did an excellent job expressing yourself. Well done, thanks for the review.

Beautiful...something i dont ever remember describing a poem as, but that is the only word that can describe this. I love the feeling you create with this poem. amazing.

This is a beautiful, gripping poem. I would offer a critique, but this is beyond my ability to critique accurately. Good job, and good luck. Keep writing!

I like the irony.

The loss of senses and a line later you can feel the dryness of your throat.