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| Let It Rain 2008-08-20 ch 1,  | abuseThe whole concept of that poem is brilliant. Kudos. ;-) |
| Hed in the Cloudz 2008-05-24 ch 1, | abuseThis time, I like the breaks. They put emphasis in all the right places, make things more emotional than they would be if they were simply written in a boring old line. They remind me why people include fractured sentences in poetry! Oh, and I like how the uncapitalized letters look like tears, but I think that's just my being overly sentimental. For some reason, though, the second line of the first stanza is just screaming for another syllable, and the second line of the second stanza wants one less. For some reason these lines seem out of place and awkward, and it's just because of the lack of a fraction of a word! --Yna, from the Review Marathon (see the link in my profile!) |
| kiowasandbladesXsacredthoug... 2008-02-08 ch 1, | abuseWow. I absolutely loved it, and I completely understand it. |
| diffident 2008-01-13 ch 1, | abuseI definitely understand exactly what this poem is about. I love how you expressed it, but the ending, and the twist in thinking, seemed kind of abrupt. The irony of the subject matter, also, is fantastic. marie |
| sunday night sky 2008-01-09 ch 1, | abusei love it. i guess i feel like that now, unable to write about relationship-ness cos i just can't find the words. the name of the piece is so simple and striking, too, it really caught my eye. my fave stanza is the fourth one. the enjambement is perfect. great piece :) |
| .crumpled.STIXERZ.paper. 2007-12-21 ch 1, anon. | abuseToo lazy to take the extra four seconds to sign in. I like how real this is. It's so realistic. Some poetry creates something that the reader knows can't actually be real, but your piece makes the emotion and meaning obviously real. Nice job. -stix- |
| simpleplan13 2007-12-15 ch 1, | abusethe idea of an unpoem is awesome... and the piece fits it perfectly... its great.. I also love the part about not being able to find the words to describe it bc I can totally relate to that.. great piece |
| RandoMaia 2007-12-15 ch 1, | abuseDamn you talented people. I really liked this one ^^ I'm trying to think of constructive things to say, but that's about all I can come up with: I really liked it. I think it's a very common sentiment that you captured very well. Good job! |
| chibichoco 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseWow... that was very nice. Amazing job like always. :) |
| poemkitten7 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseVery beautifully written. Original and creative. Keep up the amazing work. :) -Sara |
| S. Ben Beach 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseheh, unpoem... I understand where you're coming but unpoem? Think you could do a bit better. (just a suggestion.. nothing is forced) I really liked this, especially "to immortalise them in my verse" - I guess that's what you do with romance related poems. The stanzas flow really well, doesn't seem cluttered or anything like that. The ending's also quite cool too - keeps the intensity. Keep up the good work!! This is sweet stuff. =) |
| softer side of apples 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseBRAVO!! THIS IS WONDERFULLY WRITTEN AND I LOVE IT! |
| thiefandbandit 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuse... wow I liked it alot. IT was intence. I can certainly relate to it. |
| RobHemmens 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseI really like this, which is funny because (no offense) I'm not really a fan of this kind of poetry. I love the whole self referential subject matter, it's so well observed. Also, I really like the way your take on it all changes, centred around the central stanza. The line "You weren't beautiful enough, or cruel enough" is really nice. My one, almost petty complaint, is the title. I don't think "Unpoem" sums up the feel of the poem very well, but that is obviously no big deal. |
| luv me like no other 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseaw! this is SO cute. |