Reviews for Broken Toy - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Broken Toy - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

PandaPanda 2008-08-04 ch 1,	abuseSuch a beautiful piece! I especially love these lines: "I want to be what you need: I need to be what you want" The lack of spacing with the "aroundandaroundandaround," was unique and effective! I will be adding this to my favourites. :)
alittlebitconfused 2008-05-10 ch 1,	abuseI love how you emphasize the words that really matter with italics and no spaces, it really helps the poem. I also like the repetition of the two lines at the end, it brings the poem full circle. Great job. :)
Asherah Seirei 2008-03-04 ch 1,	abuseOh, I could really feel the desperation and despair in your words. I like the style and structure of this poem; it really added to it. X3
Crying-Without-Tears 2008-02-23 ch 1,	abusei like this one it sounds like a good song GJ ~Brittany Cathleen~
Deets 2008-02-19 ch 1,	abuseI like this a lot. It expresses really well how people in relationships always seem to want you to change, something I think most people can relate to (I know I can).
Sexy vampirechick 2008-02-18 ch 1,	abuseInteresting!What makes this poem really cool is that how you say you want be what you need and need to be what you want,while in the stanza before last you expressed that you'd really do anything for him.I like this one a lot!
HGiel 2008-02-10 ch 1,	abuseThat was really cool. You do a great job at this, I wish I could lol
Esther Jade 2008-02-06 ch 1,	abuseMy favourite things about this poem: - The poignancy, especially as summed up in the repeated refrain. It almost makes one want to cry. - The words that run into each other "aroundand..." and "overand...". They're very evocative and seems to echo the futility of the toy's attempts to please. - I think the best stanzas are the third and the second last. I love the way the toy wants to read its own instructions - it's such a lovely image. My least favourite things: - The lack of punctuation. It just makes it so difficult to read and as poetry is primarily written to be read out loud, it just doesn't make sense to leave out punctuation unless the poem is specifically one of those written to be looked at. One place that was just crying for a colon, to me, anyway, was the end of the first line of the third paragraph. - I didn't particularly like the fifth stanza. I think what really bothered me was the word "overpower" - it just sounds so physical and it seems more like the a case of exerting mental effort or will power. It's not like the toy is fighting; it's just not co-operating.
2008-01-28 ch 1, anon.	abuseI love the way you write...even though I relate too much and get sad. >_
purple x pen 2008-01-27 ch 1,	abuseagain, very well written, i really like this piece especially the lines "i want to be what you need/ i need to be what you want" wonderful =] i also like what you did with the 2nd and 11th lines! it has a nice effect on the writing.
lookin4nemo 2008-01-18 ch 1,	abuseMy fav verses are "I want to be what you need, and I need to be what you want
laughter at the funeral 2008-01-05 ch 1,	abusei love the whole play with want and need and they totally make sense and that was incredible... and i love the poem's faithfulness to the theme of poems... you really did a good job truly yours...
Needa S 2008-01-04 ch 1,	abuseA job well done. It could work as a song too. Keep up the awesome work. Again...Thanks for your kind reviews. God Bless!
lordelfy 2008-01-01 ch 1,	abusewow the first stanza really locked me into the poem! I like this great job! Oh and i like how you related this to toys!
Kusje 2007-12-31 ch 1,	abuse'I want to be what you need I need to be what you want' Those are million-dollar lines right there. Great job on this.

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