hey its okay so far its just a little unrealistic.

i dont think the police would name her the prime suspect to begin with, they may think perhaps...but i think mostly there would be alot of investigating and then they would start to uncover some clues which lead to her being the killer or whatever...

kinda predictable

otherwise ur style of writing is good.

GAH! More suspense, more cliff-hangers!
One little grammar thing: "He made eye contact her" = "made eye contact WITH her"
That's all, hope it helps ^^

Muchas good job! Keep updating so we can see what happens next!

sounds good so far!

Eps! Such a happy little story gone bloody so soon! You must update! I must hear where that phone number leads...

As for grammar stuffs, just a few tense things here and there. I'm pretty sure some are just little typos.
"She heard the cat meowed" = "meow"
"didn’t know who it belong to." = "belonged"
"She turned her head slightly and notice" = "noticed"
"She felt to the floor" = "fell"

That's all, hope it helps ^^ With every story you post, your grammar gets better and better! Good job! You are obviously very determined to improve your skills! That's awesome. Keep up the great work!