Hello! I just have to say that I love this story. It is exceptionally well-written, and it's good to see someone who can actually utilize the spell-check button.

I don't know your feelings on Constructive Criticism (CC) in a post, but there is one thing I should point out.

I was really enjoying finding an interesting fic with good spelling or grammar, until I saw the word 'alright'. This I simply must correct. 'Alright' is NOT a word. You will not find it in any dictionary or thesaurus. It is a common misspelling (but a misspelling nontheless) of 'all right'

but great story! keep on going with it please!

I'll wait for the hard-copy.
Love,
Dad

I'm way bored from too much needless description. You are trying to hard.

Brilliant writing. I loved this first chapter. Wasn't sure at first, but it slowly drew me in... Your descriptions are so perfect, so vivid.. I love the chill of the character and the dialogue. Going to read more now. Top job. :)

~ Wolfeh (3.57 in the pm)

For some reason that I can't define (I've been trying for the last few minutes), this chapter seems stronger than any previous. The characterization is strong, the action and dialogue smooth, and it was plain fun to read.

~ Ten-chan

OMG! OMG! OMG!

When are we gonna C Kaish again!? I wanna see him! He is like... like my FAV Character! I wanna see him again! I hope him and Rina get hooked! That would be, like, so TOTALLY AWESOME~! And dude, I love this story. SILAS IS, LIKE, AWESOME! But he's a dickweed. He doesn't deserve Rina. He's too much of an arrogant, self-abbsorbed dillweed. Seriously man.

I CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL THIS IS BUPLISHED! SERIOUSLY! I WANA BUY IT, LIKE, NOW!

*faints*

Yeah... This truly is a good story!

Tell us the genre, publisher, and all that stuff so that we can find it when you publish, I wouldn't mind reading it... If you can't publish, just post the rest up.

Good chapter! The weird part was when the stags were trying to get the arrow, and in the middle of the river, Kaish pulled Alastor down, but for some reason, they weren't drowning or anything. I thought the current would have gotten them somewhere? And wouldn't they be underwater, a little farther away from Lance? and the distance, half a mile, seems to long. also, does Alastor know that Kaish and Rina are planning to run away? In the middle, I noticed that that was what Alastor was thinking.


wait...woah bad words. lol

okay, i found another little mistake. On that part when Rina is stepping on the bridge, you wrote "by then, nothing could be done" twice pretty close together.

Yay I finished it! haha this was a good chapter! RINA FINALLY MEETS SILAS!

Are you going to continue to print your stories out at school? You better! haha jk. This is the end of part one?? AACK WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?

Another excellent chapter - though I find it incomprehensible what Abaca is thinking. I'm mostly curious about this strange little triangle going on between her and Silas and Sh'ka.

By the way, the concept of his "magic" helps the story along beautifully. There was such a buildup of people labeling him "monster," that it was nice to see a bit of why.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter,
Ten-chan

O_o

That's a bold boy!

But what a fun chapter!

I thoroughly enjoyed this - especially being able to see Rina from another's eyes like that. And Alastor, well . . . I do feel sorry for him. He's just a punk; I hope he manages to grow up some.

~ Ten-chan

Silas' magic is not too weird (in my opinion).

You're my favorite author!

I thought silas was...YOU KNOW...(i don't want to spoil it) but he's REJA?

I THIHNK RINA SHOULD GO WITH SILAS!