Reviews for Straightener - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Straightener

miscellanea 2008-07-01 ch 5,	abuseIt was alright, I just found your 'bellie pie' character to be extremely, I don't know, flawed. I'm not sure that you wanted her to sound like a brat who is actually good inside, or just a brat... or not a brat at all. Just the whole annoying thing you built up in the first chapters made her giving up on Lee so quickly a little forced. I don't see how he could value her friendship as a sister either, her character was pretty nauseating. You held my attention for five chapters, so I guess it wasn't that bad of a concept. miscellanea
miscellanea 2008-07-01 ch 2,	abuseInteresting, I think I'll read on... It's really annoying how she was calling him darling so much, lol.
found.eventually 2008-04-21 ch 5,	abuseWhoa. Whoa. Okay. This was not the ending I expected, but in a way, it made sense. I read one of the reviews saying how it's actually rather offending if a friend says he wants to make her straight and everything, and I'm actually very glad you accepted her comment and made use of it. The whole story became more real, (though frankly,I was a wee-bit disgusted at the masturbation part. Do guys really while watching ? ... You know what, I don't even wanna know.) and I loved it that way! Yay! You're done! NOW ON TO OTHER STORIES DARLING. :)
LiMay 2008-03-24 ch 4,	abusesweet and adorable =) thought it was a little bit odd, but really interesting idea!
found.eventually 2008-01-14 ch 4,	abuseOH. i just checked your profile. apparently you updated. i just didn't know about it. HAHAHA. anyhoo, uhm, the starting was a wee-bit confusing, but i guess the chapter was okay. definitely not your best, but i'm sure it'll get better. :)
Anti-inflammatory 2008-01-13 ch 4,	abuseVery confusing. Could you elaborate in the next update? As soon as you can?
Necronomical 2008-01-13 ch 4,	abuseFirst off, this might sound a wee bit offensive, but I don't really mean it that way. There just isn't a better way to phrase it. I think this story makes your heroine, at the least, seem completely and totally ignorant, which makes me wonder if you in turn have ever been around a real gay person. Now, I'm female, but I'm mostly attracted to girls at this point in my life (I'm bisexual), and in this case, gay is gay. We're not 'confused heteros in denial', which is how your supposedly-gay character, Lee, comes off. Also, your plotline is a touchy subject in the GLBT community, and I'm not sure you realize that. I'd be extremely offended if one of my male friends said, "I'm going to make you straight." and that would be grounds for ending the friendship altogether. I would never be friends with someone who just couldn't accept the fact that I was gay. As it stands, both of your characters are sort of flat and 2-dimensional. Belle comes off as a vapid, ignorant romantic who has no idea of what being gay is, and Lee comes off as a dim stereotype who also has no idea of what being gay is. You're not a bad writer, but you need to work on letting the reader get to know the characters, and I would suggest treating the issue at hand ('converting' a gay person, which has a lot of negative connotations) with a bit more tact. A little research goes a long way. ~Necronomical
found.eventually 2008-01-08 ch 3,	abusee! belle's desperate, isn't she? but GAWD. the unresolved sexual tension (eventhough lee has yet to realise that stupid fact). this story's sexy! :) -scrolls up to check the rate- NO WONDER IT'S AN M! hahaha. me likey, me likey.
Anti-inflammatory 2008-01-04 ch 3,	abuseCute. I love his name, seriously
M.J. Dawn 2008-01-04 ch 3,	abuseHaha this is so cute! && I definitely though the ending was adorable! lol Keep it coming! --Marie Jane
Anti-inflammatory 2008-01-03 ch 2,	abuseWell...it was a bit rushed, but it's a nice plot line and I LOVE the summary. I want to see where this goes. Update soon
M.J. Dawn 2007-12-31 ch 2,	abuseWell hello! I'm so happy you are going to continue this story! Well it is kind of crazy, but hey, who cares? lol So do you have people in mind to be the characters? Lemme know or whatever! I
M.J. Dawn 2007-12-29 ch 1,	abuseHahahaha this was a great prologue! I definitely think you should write more to it! I really hate it when perfectly gorgeous, stunning, intelligent, single guys end up gay! Argh it makes me frustrated! Haha anyways this was great and feel free to check out my storys
J. M. Dusk 2007-12-22 ch 1,	abuseI think you should write it! ~Jay Em~
Distorted-sky 2007-12-21 ch 1, anon.	abuseThis is cute. It reminds me of the relationship between my exboyfriend (now gay) and myself. We're still great friends but I still love him to death. I always go up to him and shake him yelling "I'm gonna shake the gay out of you!" But's all good because he agreed that if he was straight that he would still date me. That was a nice sort of closure for me. This reminds me of that. It seems to have an interesting plot and I can't wait to see what else happens. I'm too lazy to sign in but Distorted-Sky is my pen name on this site. Great Work.

Return to Top