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| Catcher in the Rye 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuseI haven't looked at your stuff in so long. I think its been like a year. Yah but anyway, I like this alot. Especially the first line, it grabbed my attention right away. I dunno if this is more like lyrics rather than a poem, but I can definatly hear this being screamed in a song or something. I like that. Good job. |
| Twilight Starr 2008-03-19 ch 1, | abuseGreat job expressing your feelings. Nice work. Good luck with poetry and life. Have an excellent day. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| 123454321 2008-03-09 ch 1, | abuse'It hurts to feel like not yourself'-- This could be rewritten because as is, it corrupts the flow quite well. 'It makes me no more worse'-- Double comparison! The word 'more' is not needed. Overall, the raw emotion of this piece is somewhat off-putting, but then draws you back in. -J.A. Courtesy of the review marathon (link on profile). |