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| SweetWithUncertainty 2008-03-06 ch 1,  | abuseyour writing style never ceases to amaze me ^^ |
| HauntedMisery 2008-02-04 ch 1, | abuseThis is amazingly well written. I love it =] |
| Her Wishing Well 2008-01-29 ch 1, | abuseThis is, in every way, gorgeous. Your use of langauge and the way you express moments so powerfully will never cease to amaze me. Amazing, truly. |
| White Tea and Ginger 2007-12-29 ch 1, | abuseI like this. I love how full of contradiction it is- wanting him to see, hiding what you want him to see, the whole of it. This bit just really struck me: "in the apartment/as day bursts out/your cheek is/melting across/my neck." Clearly a very intimate, sensual night; the delicacy you use in this piece is beautiful and definitely allows that intimacy to shine through, and yet at the same time doesn't fully give it all away. It's still yours, but we're thankful that you shared a slice of it with us. Hillary. |
| Doc Blood 2007-12-24 ch 1, | abuseThe emotional flow of this is amazing. Of course I am in awe of you, even when you make my brain hurt. And don't worry about the memory thing, old memories become more vivid with age. It's what one had for breakfast (or if one had breakfast) that becomes troublesome. Excellent. Peace, Doc |
| simpleplan13 2007-12-24 ch 1, | abuseI like this.. it flows beautifull and its wonderfully written.. a beautiful combonation of sweet and sad |
| hardcore 2007-12-24 ch 1, | abusecresting like a tide underneath my tongue. That's beautiful. One of my favorites of yours so far: I love the almost ethereal quality of this piece, taking place within as much as without. And very nicely set, you got me from the first verse! |
| S.L. Haze 2007-12-23 ch 1, | abuse"my voice laughing your name. the way I cling to the thought of you against me. alone, always thinking of it, and now, in the silence sighing from it. him I love in the apartment; in the sunlight before he leaves me; poised like a portrait trying to remember the feeling before I forget forever." This makes me thinkof myself, exactly myself. Great work on this one! |
| Ayx 2007-12-23 ch 1, | abuseThis was beautiful. One of the most moving pieces I've read in a very long while. Wow...great from stanza to stanza. Lol I think you've blown me away with your talent. Ayx |
| Julius Gillian 2007-12-23 ch 1, | abuseI like how straightforward this is. This piece is written in an honest way, so is the concept about loving this person and making love to him. 'in the apartment moonshine whines across the windows like a screaming siren' Moonshine whining is very abstract, and it took me a few moments to guess what this means. To have something 'whine' across a surface seems to me like its making itself known by force. And I guess by writing 'screaming siren' emphasizes just that. I recall you wrote in your previous poems 'screaming silence or loud silence'. Were you aware of that when you flipped this around or is it just me? It's interesting that you've used a succinct but articulate pair of words which I'm already familar with. Which again reminds me how straightforward and honest this piece is. 'I love him' Honest :P 'and in my shame, pale, and nude I fumble, press him closer to my skin in our love making - to feel him transcribe my body into a poem,' Call me strange, but this brief stanza feels like the poetess' body to me being painted by her lover. You've accomplished a great deal with molding yourself into this part if you know what I mean. 'in the apartment as day bursts out your cheek is melting across my neck.' melting to me reminds me of slow motion in contrast to bursts which represents busy activity. Seems like you guys are taking it slow and easy and just enjoying the moment. Love this part too. 'a spark, inertia, eyeliner: bony fingers cupping my breasts while you stare me down saying nothing.' Aws :) 'before I forget forever.' Well unless you have a diary. I think some memories just wont go away no matter how many other things you become conditioned to, no matter how long you live, or deny it. But then again maybe I need to confront what I'm trying to forget and move on. Ho hum. This was a very serene piece Juliet, and I have to remark again how simplistic your style here is. Congratulations, this deserves *cheesy cinema rating alert* a two thumbs up. ;) - Julian |